isit wrong for wanting to go to youth?? isit wrong that i want to have fun?? isit wrong???
every tear flows from your eye is so precious...every tear that flows from my eye there's a meaning to it...we don't cry just like that...is either sadness or joy...wad is mine?? for now is definitely sadness...i just want to go youth and listen to the teaching and also have fun...why can't i do any of that now?? i finished my freaking form 3 year...and don't you think i should do all things now---having fun, going youth, doing all the activities---but no!!! i can't...just beacuse of a material that mummy gave me...the material is my phone that was stolen...until now i'm still banned from going youth...i feel so annoyed and angry!!! i don't care about my phone being stolen anymore...i put that in my past but why can't my parents do that...why can't they understand that i just want to go youth and go out!!
my relationship with God now...i have no idea where am i standing...i don't even know who is He anymore or who am i...you know there is this thin piece of glass which can just break easily...but i am trying to take care of it ...so that it wouldn't break into pieces...but there is so many temptation that could just break that glass...and the glass is my faith in God... i feel like i'm going further and further from God and my parents don't even give a damn!! i don't read the bible like i used to already and i don't talk to God because i just can't...and i just need to go youth and listen to Gods words and just sing and maybe one day i will be strong again but now.. i can't do that..as my parents they just don't want me to go so how do i do it?? i know we can always gain back our strength at home..actually anywhere but can i?? unfortunately i thought i could but i can't...i just feel when i'm in youth and i go for their bible study and stuff..i feel i am learning something..i am learning Gods words and i just had faith in Him....i'm not saying i have no faith in Him but now i can tell you the truth that my faith is thinner than a contact lens...
you know when i was still having my pmr exams...i was so looking forward for my holidays because i thought i would be able to go youth and go out and have fun....i never pictured my holiday to be like this!!! you know when i lost my phone..this aunty told me that don't fall for this trick that the satan is giving you..he just trying to break your relationship with God...and i stayed strong...i didn't care about that anymore...but now i'm not strong...
now i totally just stop stop talking to God...i can't say a word to Him because i don't know what is going on... i don't is He trying to do or what!! i watched the movie material girls and when all the bad things happen Ava said i'm like Gods personal joke...and now i feel i am Gods personal joke!!!
everytime i want to go out i can't because i'm so afraid my dad will get angry or my mum... so so many times i had plans i just didn't go...i guess i'm really afraid to get scolded...just don't like it:):)
now i just want to go to youth...i know they will they are protecting me in case my stuff get stolen again...i'm sorry but this is not protecting me!! this is more a torturing to me...i accepted not going youth because i know it was a lesson and all but i didn't know until now they can't let it go...this is not a lesson anymore is more to a punishment!! sometimes i just wish i could shout out and scream...and sometimes i just wish my mum would just know...
what am i suppose to do now?? pretend everything is okay??? i've been pretending long enough well sometimes and i can't pretend anymore... i hate it!!i hate it!!i hate it!!i just hate it!! i hate that everything is going the way they want it to be not the way it is meant to be....:)
now i'm only listening to the song IRIS by GOO GOO DOLLS!! :):) just over and over again...
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive
[Iris lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
(break and solo)
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
IRIS by GOO GOO DOLLS...
really nice song!!
continuation...
2nd day...well me and my roommate woke up at like 6 i think well we slept at 3 or nearly 4 haha...anyways we got ready and went for breakfast....and of course i had like a westernese breakfast...haha well after that we went to KLCC...well we had to wait like 20 minutes i think for teh petrosains to open...well at least that gave me some time to cut my nails hahaha anyways when it finaally open at last!!!...hahaha honestly it's pretty cool, not what i expected...we had quite limited time so we glance through it really quickly haha check out the pictures we took...haha
well before i show that pictures...i remembered i owe some of the previous pictures on 1st day..haha
this ang mo..we met..haha
sorry the pictures are so small..my freind totally deleted her photos so i had to grab it from friendster which is small too...how annoying... you can't see a thing ...haha
nice skirts aih??? well it's actually bags hehe
cute:)
so after we wonder around the shopping mall...i think it's hardly a mall haha erm we went to the playground...and i had a taste of my own scene from titanic...
well it's not exactly the same hahaha...shacky position hehe
well okay lets get back on the 2nd day haha...in petrosains..
i guess i put my stand in petrosains like the hollywood thing...haha
cool aih?? it's not wad it looks like actually haha is more to a scientific thing haha
the artist of creating art(the 2 frog --i think-- next to him)
don't that coat fits me perfectly..hehe
the next albert einstein
that took me ages to lift the weigh up...lolz
lolz..that's so lame...
aww caleb and chris...lolz..(don't be mad at me caleb) hehe
andy:)
well after that we had lunch in KLCC too and went shopping...totally didn't buy anything haha we went toys r us...for fun actually hehe... only have one pic now...
me playing basketball...
i will try get the rest of the pics in toys r us...
anyways after that we went to see the Malaysia eye!!! hrmmm copycat!! haha jkjk yea it seems nice but not the view hahaha i meant the feris wheel haha
fine!! this view is actually pretty nice haha
but the water below us as in the river...is kind of disgusting...the colour actually haha
we met new friends..haha
okay after that we went to times square haha and that time was the first time i sat the rollarcoaster hahaha man is really really fun hahaha yea we totally play the whole time and didn't even go shopping well at least some of us haha erm me, khang ngee, stella, caleb, owen, rueben , shia lee and more hahaha we tried the 360 degrees ride..seriously i didn't even know that ride was like that haha...well wow!! that was pretty scary but it was super fun hahaha... well and after that i think we ate dinner and went back hotel and of course shopping time !!! hahaha and that time i bought a MNG shorts ...is really nice hahaha well i like it haha
the next day .. the first was we went to sunway haha the rollarcoaster was so boring haha haha i like the "something" haha i can't remember what was it called hehe my bad...anyways as usual we played till we had no time to change or eat...haha then we went to bandar utama haha which there, i absolutely nothing to buy hahaha oh yea at the end when it was time to go back...me and kn totally lose our way...it was kind of scary haha well i quickly prayed and we found the way back to the light haha...kn bought really nice soldier pants which totally suits her and a blouse for only RM20 which fits her nicely hahaha and again the same routine starts again..having dinner and then go back to the hotel and went shopping and this time i bought a Levis pants...it's not jeans it's more to cargoish pants or something haha but me and kn didn't go back to hotel that early like i mean 10 but instead we went to the archade with the 3 C class people plus some 3 A haha...till like nearly 11 so we had to rush back before we got caught haha well of course we were 59 seconds early hahaha then we had to pack for the next day to go home again...but honestly it did past really quickly but to tell you the truth i do miss HOME!!! haha my room!!! and my doggie!!!haha so the next day we went to visit LIM KOK WING uni... well actually it really looks nice haha...and the presentations seems really cool haha some of my friends like samantha and khang ngee was already thinking of going there to study hahaha but to me eventhough it does look and sound really great but that definitely doesn't change my dream studying abroad...haha i can't wait to study abroad well i've been wanting to go UK to visit and of course study there too but my daddy wants me to study in Aus ... well it's cheaper so i guess me of wanting to study in UK is already canceled but at least i'm still going overseas haha...we'll see in 2 years haha i got to run now... oh yea pictures in lim kok wing..i'll update it later...but sadly no pictures me in rollarcoaster or any of teh rides haha..
it's been a while...well was away. Had an "educational trip" to kl haha erm well a week ago...and wanted to post for ages but my computer just find ways to not allow me hehe...at first my mouse totally didn't work so it took me 3 days till i can finally use my com and after that another dreadful thing happen my internet couldn't be connected hahaha well at least i still have the "BROTHERS AND SISTERS" to company me hehe... anyways i have plenty of pictures to upload...it's all about
fun fun fun fun and more fun !! in KKLLLL !!! hahaha...even though we had a few things that happened which not quite ruined it...haha anyways on the trip i was super super excited cause we're going to the F1 circuit...i know i know is just a circuit haha but seriously there might be the sports car there well specially waiting for me!! haha..sadly obviously there isn't any sports car after my friend break it to me haha well that's find i guess but the worst part is i didn't even get to see the circuit...seriously haha oh wells!!:):) well we went loads of places on the first day i must say...haha we went to this mosque which i barely remember haha how educational aih?? haha erm we went the prime minister's house which i will show u the pictures later eventhough it was said no taking photos allowed but you know me...haha well the tourguides did say they closed one eye so might as well haha so check it out...
that buildings seems so squarish but honestly it looks pretty grand:)
oh yea in our bus we saw this dude seriously...unbelievable discovery haha TOK JANGGUT is still ALIVE!! haha...haha if only!! well seriously he does look like him haha
don't they have resemblence???
oh this building is where we first stopped...well the mosque is there...haha
hot babes!!haha
seriously is barely afternoon and you're already dreaming?!? hehe
anyways at that place wewent to the shopping centre which i started taking photos with all the stuff there...but will have to wait cause all the pictures is with my friend haha will get it soon haha oh and plus we met new friends haha a family of angmo from Cambridge haha the picture is also with my friend haha... oh check this out!!
quite pretty aih?? it's like sydney even though is like 200% different haha
cool dude aih??tried to disturb him haha well he did blink haha (so lame)
cool car aih?? in the minister's house haha
in the kitchen
minister cooking??
seriously mine still looks twice better than that haha jkjk
cool aih?? dalmation horse!! scary but cute!! haha
everyone walked the simple way but instead me and come of my friends went hunting haha
after that trip we went to the chocolate factory haha yummy!!! chocolate!! haha delicious haha
yum yum chocolaticious!!!
it's really cool actually haha they sell the durian chocolate which kind og taste really not that bad haha...after that we ate dinner at aunty sam and then back to hotel and and and SHOPPING!!!haha the first totally bought 3 shirts all from F.O.S haha i guess that place is really cool hahaha
anyways more pictures to uplopad and more stuff which will be continued hahaha(suspens)
TO BE CONTINUED!!!:)
say:TIDAK!!
YUCKS!!!
DRAGON UP!!!
perfumes--smell nice but can actually kill u!!!
SHOES!!
this ang mo..we met..haha
nice skirts aih??? well it's actually bags hehe
cute:)
well it's not exactly the same hahaha...shacky position hehe
i guess i put my stand in petrosains like the hollywood thing...haha
cool aih?? it's not wad it looks like actually haha is more to a scientific thing haha
the artist of creating art(the 2 frog --i think-- next to him)
don't that coat fits me perfectly..hehe
the next albert einstein
that took me ages to lift the weigh up...lolz
lolz..that's so lame...
aww caleb and chris...lolz..(don't be mad at me caleb) hehe
andy:)
me playing basketball...
fine!! this view is actually pretty nice haha
okay after that we went to times square haha and that time was the first time i sat the rollarcoaster hahaha man is really really fun hahaha yea we totally play the whole time and didn't even go shopping well at least some of us haha erm me, khang ngee, stella, caleb, owen, rueben , shia lee and more hahaha we tried the 360 degrees ride..seriously i didn't even know that ride was like that haha...well wow!! that was pretty scary but it was super fun hahaha... well and after that i think we ate dinner and went back hotel and of course shopping time !!! hahaha and that time i bought a MNG shorts ...is really nice hahaha well i like it haha
that buildings seems so squarish but honestly it looks pretty grand:)
don't they have resemblence???
hot babes!!haha
seriously is barely afternoon and you're already dreaming?!? hehe
quite pretty aih?? it's like sydney even though is like 200% different haha
cool dude aih??tried to disturb him haha well he did blink haha (so lame)
cool car aih?? in the minister's house haha
in the kitchen
minister cooking??
seriously mine still looks twice better than that haha jkjk
cool aih?? dalmation horse!! scary but cute!! haha
yum yum chocolaticious!!!
it's really cool actually haha they sell the durian chocolate which kind og taste really not that bad haha...after that we ate dinner at aunty sam and then back to hotel and and and SHOPPING!!!haha the first totally bought 3 shirts all from F.O.S haha i guess that place is really cool hahaha